Last night was awful.........

I worked late, so I went out late. I soon realised that it was going to be one of those drunken nights. And when I'm drunk might aswell kiss goodbye to pulling some hotties,

I go out at 11, next thing I know it's twelve o clock and I've drank 5 or 6 glasses of whiskey and a pint of snakebite.

We go into the club, I walk in singing, but I don't know what.

We wander round, I see The Manatee I give her and snaggletooth the finger.....they yell abuse, I reply with something witty, but I don't know what.

We go across the road to the Spider, we're out on the balcony. I see a fat girl with a labret piercing, I ask her what other piercings she's got. I show her my piercings on the condition she doesn't swoon. She shows me her nipple piercing. She says she has double d's, I bounce and tell her she will show me again later.

See a pretty hot girl, she's with a gay guy. The gay guy starts talking to me, I befriend him, I give the girl some absurd palm reading while massaging her hand. She laughs and tells me my palm reading is bullshit [she's right] I tell her I know my palm reading, I learned it off a gypsy. I go to kiss her [I'm loaded, game's out the window] she says she's engaged and shows me her ring. Huh?. I fluff, and consider using an evil boyfriend destroyer. Gay guy starts talking to me, he fancies me, oh well. I give him a palm reading which is in fact a lot better than the one I gave to the girl. He's intrigued, I talk to girl, tease her. My mate asks me if I'm coming to the pizza shop. I say yes, and I just fucking kiss the girl on the lips and walk off.

Steal my friends chips, and then fade off into the night.

Urggh